Before I came to YWAM, I used to run after my own interests. I followed what the world said I needed to achieve in order to have a successful education and career. I chose to attend graduate school, in the hopes of securing an internship and then a job. All of this for the purpose of achieving a successful future. Meanwhile, I was also actively involved at a church. I served on the praise team and the children’s ministry. And in addition to that, I volunteered at a non-profit organization that delivered food to refugees. I continued to do all these things that served my own interests and what I thought were God’s interests as well. I didn’t realize I was chasing after the wrong things until I lost myself to the point of exhaustion in the midst of all the busyness.
We are living in a world where we become blind to the fact that striving towards self-development and personal achievements (in the guise of it being for God), ultimately leads to an unhealthy lifestyle that unknowingly throws us into the darkness. God created us to BE the light that shines in the darkness, but when we’re caught up in the daily grind of working for the sole purpose of glorifying ourselves (and not God, even if we say that it’s for Him), we begin to lose the purpose of our life. We lose our identity in Christ. We are saying that we want to follow Jesus, but then we proceed to do whatever we want to do. We can’t allow ourselves to create any kind of foothold for the enemy to enter into our lives.
So as I’ve been going through my DTS, God has been highlighting the word “resurrection.” In Galatians 2:20, Paul confronted Peter, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Salvation involves exchanging my old life to Christ who then gives me a new life in Him. Because I am freed from sin, I am reminded to kill my flesh, the embodiment of my old life, and take up the cross, my new life, every day. And so I’m reminded of the choice I willingly made to lay my plans of a “successful” future down and coming to YWAM. For the rest of the days of my life, I always want to choose Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, over all the “successes” and desires of this world. And trust that He will lead me to a future that’s better than anything I could ever imagine.