I had struggled with the idea of marriage all of my life. A “normal” family life was pretty much non-existent. A desperate search for true love arose even before I was aware of what that even meant or looked like. For so long, I had mistaken and misrepresented love as a series of self-pleasing relationships that bore nothing but bad fruits. It certainly didn’t end with any rocks on my finger or wedding bells. And thank God that it didn’t. A year later, I now realize that it was the very favor and grace of the Lord that I remained single. I was in the very middle of a great pursuit.
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.” Hosea 2:14
The King of kings was and always is after my heart. He has been seducing me with the most perfect love ever to be known and experienced. Jesus is jealous for me. He wants me to know what it is like to be fully known and fully loved by the only One who could satisfy. He is constantly after my unrestrained, whole hearted devotion. The only way I could ever offer such love to an almighty God is to be overwhelmed by His love first. And that He does, oh so well.
Being single at twenty-eight means basking in the only love that truly satisfies. It means indulging in THE relationship from which all relationships can be made right. It means trusting that the Good Father has the best in store for me. Honestly, how can He not? He certainly did not withhold His best, Jesus, from me. So what makes me think that He’s not going to provide the best spouse in His perfect timing?
It would be a lie to say that I don’t want to get married, but I would rather stay single as long as needed, in order to experience the full satisfaction and pleasure that can only be found in and through Jesus.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11
No person will ever be able to love me the way Jesus loves me. And I wouldn’t want to marry anyone that does not love Him first and foremost, and love me through His love. I know that this season is a unique and special gift of greater intimacy with my perfect Bridegroom. I get to celebrate His love over me and declare my affections for Him in an unhindered and undistracted way. Understanding this truth, I am more than glad and rejoice in this season of single hood!