bold·ness

willingness to take risks and act innovatively; confidence or courage.

Google Dictionary

I looked at this definition before I came to YWAM saying, “that is definitely not me.” I was the type of person who stayed in my own comfort when it came to being social. I never approached people at school, instead, I waited for people to come to me. I was a very talkative person but only to people, I was comfortable with. This was just who I accepted myself to be.

When I applied for YWAM, the application had asked what characteristic do you want to grow in. I put down boldness because I think it is essential to being a servant of God. I want to be a follower of Christ that can talk to anyone and be open about myself and the gospel. I want to have such a hunger in stepping in faith and through that growing in boldness and getting closer to God.

When I got to KC YWAM’s campus, I made it my goal to start growing in boldness. I started by meeting everybody in my class. I got to know my roommates really fast and everyone in my DTS. This was all new to me and because of my stepping out in boldness, I really got to know them. It really was so encouraging to me to actually get to know people outside of my comfort zone. A few days into the school, I was reading my Bible and I came upon, 1 Kings 18:31, and it says, “He took twelve stones, one to represent each of the tribes of Israel,” NLT. I kept reading and saw my study Bible had a little note of the verse at the bottom saying, “Using 12 stones to build the altar took courage. This would have angered some of the people because it was a silent reminder of the split between the tribes. While the 10 tribes of the north called themselves Israel, this name originally was given to all 12 of the tribes together” (Life Application Study Bible NLT TYNDALE). I like this note because the man was not worried about what everybody else was thinking, he just obeyed God and kept building. This really encouraged and challenged me because I wanted to be obedient and to walk in boldness.

Throughout YWAM, I have been having the same words spoken over me and those words are about boldness. On the first Monday of DTS, we all declared/committed something over our lives. When it was my turn to declare, I went at it, declaring that I would step into boldness and walk in obedience to the Lord and that I would say what God puts in me to say. After I walked off the stage and one of the leaders told me on the mic, that I will be a bold leader for him and then my school began to pray for me. This made me feel more comfortable because I realized that all of these people have my back and really do want a breakthrough in my life.

The next thing I know a few days later, my classmates were speaking more boldness into my life. For example, I would share something in front of the class and suddenly someone would stand up and say that God spoke to them saying that I am BOLD and that he is proud of me. That showed me every time I step out in faith, God is so proud of me. When I did my one on one (a one on one is time as a student you spend with a leader, who is there to talk to you on a personal level and to help you process) that week, my leader was saying how impressed he was with me as if I did not tell him about struggling with Boldness.

Another time the Lord confirmed BOLDNESS into my life was during worship at TNG, our weekly Thursday night gathering on the base. I was distracted that night with lots on my mind thinking, what would outreach look like? Then someone came up to me and prophesied over me, explaining that I was avoiding God’s gazes and how I don’t know if I can do what he is calling me to do. At the time, I did not fully understand what was being said to me. I knew in my heart I had doubt, doubt that I could preach on outreach. I did not think that in my mind but I assumed that I would be transformed completely after my DTS lecture phase of learning before going into the nations, but in my heart, I wanted to see proof that I could preach. Moments after that woman prophesied over me, one of my classmates prophesied over me as well. She told me that she had a vision of me preaching to a big group of little African children and that they were looking at me full of joy and they were chasing after me everywhere with joy on their faces. When she explained this to me, my heart almost felt like it had just fallen out of my chest and hit the floor with a thud. I ached for that, what she spoke over me is exactly what I needed to see and hear. I was reminded that I could preach and that Lord is calling me to the nations. 

The next day the outreach locations were revealed to us in the DTS. The locations were the Philippines in Southeast Asia and Zambia in Southern Africa. We were all asked to pray for which outreach location God wants to send us too. I started praying to God, “where do you want me to go?” The word Zambia kept popping up in my head and suddenly I was reminded about the vision that was spoken over me about the children, so I picked Zambia! A week later, I found out I was going to Zambia!! It was great to know that God was really showing the calling that He has over my life and what he even wants to strengthen me in…BOLDNESS.

God in this season of DTS, is really working in all the areas that I asked Him to work in. I really wanted to know who God is calling me to be, and honestly every week he is showing me this. He has been telling me lately that he wants me to have many crafts for him and for His kingdom. He has been filling me with boldness lately. The kind of boldness and faith, that I can do anything and that I need to step into faith and follow his path, even though I can’t see the full road ahead. I asked God to grow me in every area that I am weak in and to be challenged. God has answered my heart, growing me in how to be a preacher and how to public speak. How to be BOLD. I also have been challenged in different areas as well that I was weak in, such as picking up the piano and using it for him. I have never even played anything before! I encourage you to ask the Lord to challenge you and change your life in a good way, by making a list of weaknesses you feel you have and watch as the Lord turns them into strengths. 

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